Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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