guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
