She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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