College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
