Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
