i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
