Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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