So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
