well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
