Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
