I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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