Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
