My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
