I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
