Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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