Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he shaved USA in his pubs
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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