you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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