I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
