Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
