i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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