So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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