I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
