sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
