i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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