She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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