Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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