Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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