hotel room ftw
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
