If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
