Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
