So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
