And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
