HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
