the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
