you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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