I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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