Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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