Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
