I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
