Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
