Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
