I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
