Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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