I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
