No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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