he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
