At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
