just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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