Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
