I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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