ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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