we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
