apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
